Mysterious News Briefly — August 13, 2021

NASA scientists now think the Perseverance rover didn’t pick up a rock sample like they thought it did because the rock crumbled into Martian dust before it could be placed in the storage tube. They need to give rover robotic arm testing to a kid who’s experienced at stealing cookies.

A 2,000-year-old “thermopolium,” a food stall that once served hot dishes to Pompeiians before the eruption, was reopened this week to feed tourists visiting the site to look at the remains of  people who never made it to their last slice of pizza. To make the experience realistic, they should offer shakers of ash.

Five current and former officials revealed that members of the Space Force, the Pentagon’s newest military branch, are conflicted about assuming the task of hunting for UFOs and “unidentified aerial phenomena” because they want to be taken seriously by the public. Recruiting officers are probably tired of explaining to potential applicants why they won’t be learning how to use phasers.

For those wondering how some snakes became venomous biters, a team at Flinders University in Australia found that certain snakes turned small wrinkles inside the base of their fangs – an ancient feature inherited by most living snakes – into deep channels to carry venom towards the tip. “That’s good to know,” thought dentists who suspect a patient may be a Reptilian.

A weather station in Syracuse, Sicily, recorded an air temperature of 119.8 degrees Fahrenheit (48.8 degrees Celsius) on Wednesday – if certified by the World Meteorological Association, the temperature reading could be the highest in recorded European history. It was so hot, pasta was seen slithering under rocks.

Reproductive health researchers are working on a different kind of safe contraceptive with no side effects that involves specially engineered antibodies which bind to and trap sperm cells in mucus before they can reach and fertilize an egg. Isn’t this the plot of most Spiderman movies?

A project called Cyrostem is studying Arctic and Antarctic fish and other so-called cold-temperature extremophiles to see how they develop antifreeze proteins which protect their organs and cells from forming ice which would kill them. They’re a long way from using the same technique to cryogenically freeze a person but it could help Alaskan nudists.

An international team of space scientists led by NASA is proposing that Mars may have an ecosystem of microbial life beneath its surface that lives on radioactivity-fueled chemical activity like some subterranean microbes on Earth. The Spiders from Mars may not just be glam – they could also glow-in-the-dark.

The AI research company OpenAI has released a new machine learning tool called Codex that translates the English language into chunks of usable code for games, websites and other programs. Wait until you see the video games created by Codex users with Tourette syndrome.

Researchers in the Brazilian Amazon rainforest discovered a tiny new marmoset species called Schneider’s marmoset (Mico schneideri) in a southern area where the monkeys were driven out because of deforestation due to land clearing and fires. Sadly, we may never see a movie titled “Honey, I Shrunk the Planet of the Apes.”

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