Mysterious News Briefly — July 22, 2021

Scientists found frozen viruses nearly 15,000 years old in two ice samples taken from the Tibetan Plateau in China and say they’re ‘novel viruses’ unlike any viruses that have been cataloged to date. They’re safe as long as they weren’t found frozen next to a 15.000-year-old lab.

A team of scientists from Indiana University, the University of Washington, and Toxic-Free Future found alarmingly high levels of PFAS chemicals in breast milk samples from women around the world that can cause liver damage, reduced birthrates, and immunological disruption. Gee, if only there were some billionaires interested in exploring Earth.

Students participating in a meditation-based study utilizing Transcendental Meditation (TM) for four months had significant improvements in overall emotional stress symptoms, quality of sleep, and English Language Arts academic achievement. Just what we need – more well-rested, stress-free English majors.

One rich guy, actor Ashton Kutcher, is not going into space because his wife Mila Kunis convinced him to sell his ticket back to Virgin Galactic – a ticket that would have placed him on the next flight. As a result, Kutcher misses out on starring in “That 70 Miles Show.”

After not seeing one for 80 years, entomologists have declared that the Xerces blue butterfly (Glaucopsyche xerces) is extinct, making it the first U.S. insect species known to go extinct because of humans – its disappearance is attributed to the loss of habitat and food because of urban development, and invasive ants spread though the shipment of goods. Despite what the movie said, butterflies are not free.

The United Arab Emirate’s National Center of Meteorology is using special drones to unleash electrical charges which cause clouds to clump together and drop monsoon-like torrential downpours during the unusually hot and dry summer. The only problem is for people who look up at the drones, think they’re UFOs and waterlog their cellphones.

An obstetrician-gynecologist from Novosibirsk, Russia, is being called “Doctor Chip” by Russian media after he had several tiny chips implanted under his skin to help him open doors, use credit cards, log onto computers and other daily tasks with just a wave of his hand. People going to him with potato allergies are disappointed to find he’s not that kind of Doctor Chip.

A couple living in Ain, France, has been sleeping in a tent on their balcony for a month because they believe their apartment is haunted by black shadows that mess with their electronics and throw things around. Even worse, the shadows refuse to pay half the rent.

NASA’s Chief Scientist Jim Green and his colleagues are working on a set of standards, reporting protocols and formalized “best practices” to use when studying signs of possible extraterrestrial life. If aliens visit Earth and see scientists pulling out their standard-and-practices manuals, won’t they think they’re cookbooks?

After noticing that his voice sounded different after his space flight, some conspiracy theorists claims billionaire Jeff Bezos was replaced by aliens while surfing the edge of is his Blue Origin capsule and the being in the cowboy hat that returned is a lizard-alien doppelganger of Bezos. Has anyone filed a “lost delivery” claim with Amazon?

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