Mysterious News Briefly — July 21, 2021

While cleaning his new home, a man in Rome found a hidden staircase leading to an underground tunnel and a labyrinth of caves that possibly originated before the Middle Ages and was filled with bats. He plans to keep the caves open and explore them as soon as he hires a butler named Alfred.

Researchers at Sinai Health discovered that the Yes-associated protein (YAP) is either “on” or “off” in cancer cells – a tool that will allow them to divide all cancers into two groups and treat them accordingly. “Shut your yap” suddenly becomes a treatment, not an insult.

Wikipedia co-founder Larry Sanger, who left the site in 2007, said in an interview that the online encyclopedia’s commitment to neutrality was abandoned after 2009 and it has become increasingly partisan, primarily espousing an establishment viewpoint which Sanger says has made Wikipedia “broken beyond repair.” If you want to look up his bio, it would be wise to go someplace besides Wikipedia.

Daymak Inc., a maker of personal Light Electric Vehicles (LEVs), announced that its upcoming Spiritus electric car will be the first car in history with mining hardware and cryptocurrency technology programmed into the user interface, allowing it to mine cryptocurrency from Dogecoin to Bitcoin while it’s parked and charging. Finally, a car that will pay for itself.

Officials in Oregon warn that the Bootleg Fire has grown so large and is generating so much energy and extreme heat that it’s changing the weather by creating a rare phenomenon known as pyrocumulus clouds that are self-contained thunderstorms complete with lightning and fierce winds that are now traveling around the globe. That line outside the therapist’s office is people from the Weather Channel.

From the ‘Duh!’ file comes a new study which found that angry politicians spouting angry rhetoric leads to angry voters. It’s time to elect Ringo “Peace and Love” Starr.

Researchers in Pennsylvania have found the presence of people threatens white-tailed deer so much, they become burned out and give up on hiding or fleeing from humans, traffic and even natural predators. Next thing you know, they’ll start drinking, overeating and wearing stretch pants.

A team of astrophysicists using new models to map the mountains of neutron stars found they’re less than a millimeter tall due to the intense gravitational pull of these dense dead stars. Finally, a rock face anyone can climb.

After NASA’s recovery team fixed its computer problems by switching to backup hardware, the Hubble telescope is back in business and sending back clear photos of distant galaxies, including an unusual interacting pair of galaxies called ARP-MADORE2115-273 located 297 million light-years away. Finally, something from space to look at besides giddy billionaires.

Speaking of giddy billionaires, television coverage of Jeff Bezos’ successful suborbital trip to the edge of space and back called anthropomorphic attention to the unusual ‘penis’ shape of his rocket-capsule combo, which is completely safe and designed that way intentionally to allow increased capacity inside the capsule. Not to mention extra thrust. (Sorry.)

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