Mysterious News Briefly — July 30, 2021

A Boeing 747 pilot reported to air traffic controllers another possible jetpack idiot man flying near Los Angeles International Airport (LAX) – the first one since at least four pilots reported seeing jetpack fliers last year in the same area. Are they migrating south to escape the fires?

A grand jury indicted billionaire Trevor Milton, the founder of the Nikola electric car company, on two counts of securities fraud and wire fraud for lying about “nearly all aspects of the business” to get investors and pump up the company’s stock price. Yes, Nikola competes with Tesla with the most obvious name since the Washington Football Team.

The University of Oxford is looking for volunteers to test a new vaccine to protect against the plague as outbreaks are on the rise – including a 10-year-old boy who died of complications from plague in the US last week. They might get more volunteers if they offered them free bird beak masks.

To combat the serious worker shortages in California, the Sugar Mediterranean Bistro in Stockton brought in a food-carrying robot to help deliver orders to customers. It gets bigger tips than the human waitstaff because it never comes back when your mouth is full to ask if everything is OK.

Bengali, a tiger living at the Tiger Creek Animal Sanctuary in Tyler, Texas, was confirmed by Guinness World Records as the oldest living tiger in captivity at the age of 25 years and 319 days old and counting. Bengali blew out all of the candles and opened her eyes, but the cake didn’t turn into a human on a platter.

A family in Broken Bow, Oklahoma – a Bigfoot sighting hotspot – thought it would be fun to invite a female Bigfoot impersonator named Cinnamon to their six-year-old daughter’s birthday party … instead, the kids ran screaming and crying out of the room thinking it was a real Bigfoot. Cinnamon eventually won the kids over – a good thing in the state where Bigfoot hunting is legal and offers a reward.

The 8.2 magnitude earthquake that struck off Alaska’s coast this week, about 56 miles (91 km) east southeast of Perryville, was the strongest one since 1964 but didn’t result in any tsunamis. That’s good news for coastal Alaskans, but bad news for Alaskan TV reporters in raincoats and waders hoping to boost their ratings.

A German-built space telescope called eROSITA has created the most detailed map of black holes and neutron stars ever, revealing more than 3 million newfound objects across the universe in less than two years of operation. “Hold our beers and watch this,” said Google’s black hole map developers.

Russia’s brand new Nauka module, just docked to the International Space Station, unexpectedly fired its thrusters and the entire space station spun uncontrollably by 45 degrees out of attitude, but NASA reported that “crew members are safe and will scrub their schedules for today in order to focus on recovery efforts following the unexpected loss of attitude caused by the Russian Nauka module’s thrusters firing.” Can they blame doping?

The journal Sustainability published a study stating that New Zealand—along with Iceland, the United Kingdom, Australia (specifically Tasmania) and Ireland—were the nations currently most suited to maintaining higher levels of societal, technological, and organizational complexity if a global collapse were to happen due to climate change. Book your flights no- … too late.

Three new studies cast doubt on the premise of subsurface lakes below the Martian south pole and provide evidence they’re just clay. Elon Musk just got hundreds of ticket requests from pottery makers.

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