Mysterious News Briefly — June 15, 2021

A fire at the Scottish Crannog Centre in Perthshire, Scotland, completely destroyed a recreated 5,000-year-old Iron Age round stilt house. Who knew that Iron Age people smoked in bed?

A rare piece of embroidered textile fabric was found in a Viking grave in southern Norway dating to 850-950 CE. AD. It must have been boring having to embroider every shirt with the names Erik or Thor.

Tesla CEO Elon Musk says the company will resume bitcoin transactions once it confirms there is reasonable clean energy usage of at least 50% by miners. Cryptocurrency fans think Musk just wants them to put more dough in Dogecoin.

Multiple sightings of a puma-like large black cat have been reported over the past two months in North Wales and residents are fearing for their pets, livestock and children. Wales’s favorite singer, Tom Jones, says “It’s not unusual.”

Thousands of people have signed an Internet petition urging billionaire Jeff Bezos to buy the Mona Lisa and eat it. This could start a trend and a new TV show called “Diners, Drive-ins and da Vincis.”

A new survey finds one in five Americans would consider planning a pregnancy around what astrological sign they’d like their child to be, with the most popular signs being Scorpio, Aquarius, and Taurus. When their water breaks, a lot of them suddenly regret picking Aquarius.

Koenigsegg, the Swedish maker of $3 million ultra-lightweight supercars, is experimenting with ultra-high-voltage battery packs and biofuels using emissions from volcanoes to power electric cars without sacrificing performance. Possible names: Mount St. Hellzapoppin, Fujithatisfast and Krakatotallyawesome.

US Pacific Air Forces responded to an undisclosed incident off the coast of Hawaii with three F-22s and a Stratotanker, and no official explanation has been given. Aliens have decided to stick with vacationing in San Diego.

A Minnesota man was charged with arson and damage to property after burning down a 20-foot-tall statue of Frankenstein which had stood at the corner of South Main and West Mill Street in Janesville since 2012. When asked to comment, Frankenstein’s bride said, “Smoke … not good.”

Engineers helped University of Michigan biologists attach the world’s smallest computer to white-shelled Partula hyaline snails in the South Pacific Society Islands to figure out why they were the only native species to survive the introduction of an alien predatory snail in the 1970s, and learned that it can tolerate more sunlight than its predator, so it escaped to sunlit forest edge habitats. After using the tiny computer to surf conspiracy sites, the snails want them removed before the islands get 5G.

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