Mysterious News Briefly — June 24, 2021

A new study of Asian elephants found that the squeak sounds they make are emitted by the mouth, not the trunk, and produced by blowing air through tensed lips to make them vibrate. Thus making Asian elephants the second creature capable of giving razzberries.

In gross news, NASA is working with Proctor & Gamble to develop detergent, stain removers and even a washer-dryer that work in space because, up until now, astronauts are forced to wear dirty clothes until they can’t stand them anymore, and then burn them on trash cargo ships. In space, no one can hear you scream, “We’re out of Febreze!”

Astronomers have found evidence that parts of Venus’s surface move around like continental plates on Earth and there may be molten rock underneath it, indicating that the planet is alive with geological activity. Another reason why men moved to Mars and said, “Venus is all yours, ladies”?

Space scientists in the Netherlands are trying to recreate the conditions on Pluto in a lab in an attempt to explain the mysterious huge red spots on its surface first spotted by NASA’s New Horizons spacecraft back in 2015 – they’ve already disproven the theory that they’re tholins, organic compounds formed when cosmic radiation cooks methane in the atmosphere. Whatever the cause, Pluto is hoping the next flyby drops off some cream for it.

Archaeologists digging at the prehistoric settlement of Dikili Tash in northern Greece have dated wine samples from ancient ceramics back to 4200 BCE, which would make them the oldest known evidence of wine in Europe. They need to look for unwashed ceramic plates or fossilized meat leftovers to determine if it’s red or white.

Tesla has unveiled the fifth most powerful supercomputer in the world that it will use to train the neural nets powering Tesla’s Autopilot and upcoming self-driving AI – the supercomputer is capable of an exaFLOP, one quintillion (10 to the 18th) floating-point operations per second or 1,000 petaFLOPS. Musk was unable to convince his tech staff to change the description to something that doesn’t use the word ‘flop’.

Bad news from Mars — dust accumulating on the solar panels of NASA’s InSight Mars lander since its touchdown in November 2018 is reducing its power and could force the mission to end within a year. That mysterious crunching sound being picked up by Perseverance is 10-year-old Curiosity strutting its stuff.

Newly released video surfaced of what is said to be a 2016 encounter by a police helicopter flying alongside a disc-shaped UFO traveling at 106 mph against the wind at an altitude of about 1000 feet that was captured on a thermal imaging camera because it was allegedly invisible to the naked eye. Depending on your favorite oldies rocker, it may still be blowing in the wind or running against it.

New Hominin mitochondrial DNA samples from the Denisova Cave in Siberia show that the Denisovans occupied it long before the Neanderthals. Next they’ll find evidence that the first words spoken by the Denisovans were, “There goes the neighborhood.”

A lecturer at Yanshan University in North China is being criticized for claiming his research has reversed Albert Einstein’s theory of relativity, bragging he has “removed a huge obstacle to the healthy development of science.” If he wants to remove a huge obstacle to the healthy development of science, he should reverse politics instead.

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