Mysterious News Briefly — May 7, 2021

The National Guard Bureau announced it is very close to adding a reserve component to the Space Force, creating a National Guard for space missions. Would a Space Force reservist Will Smith have defeated the aliens if he only had one weekend to finish the job?

LOEWE Centre for Translational Biodiversity Genomics scientists conducted genetic analyses and found there are not one but four distinct species of giraffes — Northern giraffe, Reticulated giraffe, Masai giraffe and Southern giraffe – and they’re as different from each other as brown bears are from polar bears. “I told you I was eating a varied diet,” said lions to their doctors.

Researchers in South Korea have built a laser with the highest intensity ever – the beam is as powerful as focusing all the light reaching Earth from the sun to a spot the size of a red blood cell. Nothing says ‘cool laser pointer’ like the ability to cut through the conference room board you’re aiming at.

From the “this is the science we need file” comes the news that Syracuse University biomechanical engineers have developed a new pasta that is flat when dry, to save space in packaging, then curls into all your favorite pasta shapes when cooked. As an added benefit, observing it wiggle and twist in the pot takes the boredom out of watching water boil.

Bad news for flies – herpetologists have discovered a new species of fanged frogs living on Mindoro and Semirara Islands of the central Philippines – the fangs come in handy to protect them from predators and battle for good mating sites. Get ready for some college football team to call themselves the Fighting Fanged Frogs.

Astronomers using the Hubble Space Telescope observed a young, Jupiter-sized planet that is growing by feeding off the gaseous material surrounding its young star just 370 light years from Earth. Taking this to its logical conclusion, this is an extreme example of biting the hand that feeds you.

The world’s longest pedestrian suspension bridge – 1693 feet (516 meters) in length – opened in Portugal, allowing people to walk 574 feet (175 meters) above the raging River Paiva. Make sure your backpack has an extra pair of underwear.

A new study found that great white sharks are able to swim in a straight line as they make their annual 12,000 mile trip from South Africa to Australia and back again by using the Earth’s magnetic field as a compass. The toughest part of this study was finding scientists who were old enough to remember what a compass is.

For the first time on record, a woman in Mali gave birth to nine surviving babies at once — five girls and four boys – after her doctor mistakenly assured her she was only having seven. Instead of revoking his license for the mistake, they should make the doctor pay for their day care.

A new German study found that the touch of a humanoid robot makes people happier and more likely to follow the requests of their robot overlord. I’ll believe this when a country singer pens an ode to his robot girlfriend who left him.

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