Mysterious News Briefly — March 2, 2021

Physicists have decided that swirling schools of fish, swarms of bugs and flocks of birds are actually a new state of active matter they’ve named the ‘swirlicon’ state which, at the subatomic level, violates Newton’s Second Law because pressure applied to ‘swirlons’ does not cause them to accelerate. Wonder if the same thing would happen to masses of people dressed as Swirlons at a Swirli Con.

At a Tesco car park in Hertfordshire, about 100 people reported being locked out of their cars because their key fobs no longer worked – a phenomenon that has happened before and blamed on aliens, radio jamming devices used by hackers or glitches in the electronic systems at nearby businesses. Tesco says it will help locked-out drivers, but who pays for the melted ice cream?

White-faced saki monkeys at the Korkeasaari Zoo in Helsinki are so bored because of the lack of visitors during the lockdown, zookeepers teamed up with researchers at Aalto University to build an on-demand video device that allows the monkeys to choose what they want to watch and when. “King Kong” and chill?

At the ancient Red Sea port of Berenice, archeologists found the carefully arranged remains of almost 600 cats, dogs and monkeys dating back 2,000 years, making this the world’s oldest pet cemetery. Time for a prequel, Stephen King?

Scientists recording the songs of male lyrebirds in the Sherbrooke Forest of southeastern Australia were shocked to find out that what they thought was loud noises made by a flock of them was just one male lyrebird (Menura novaehollandiae) copulating with a female. Unless you’re a lyrebird, doing this will not impress your girlfriend.

A woman in St. Helens is trying to convince the world that the photograph of what she described as a “small humanoid” crossing a road is real and not what it looks like – a cardboard hoax. Could this be a sign that the pandemic lockdown has pushed us to the point of jumping the alien shark?

Researchers analyzing fossilized teeth of a group of the earliest-known primates called plesiadapiforms estimated them to be 65.9 million years old, about 105,000 to 139,000 years after the mass dinosaur extinction, which means the ancestor of all primates—including plesiadapiforms and today’s primates such as lemurs, monkeys, and apes — likely emerged by the Late Cretaceous era and lived alongside large dinosaurs. They had nothing to do with the extinction of the dinosaurs, but this news will probably encourage some primates today to brag that they did.

Only in Florida — yet another exotic invasive species has been found in the Everglades … this time a Central American milk snake. Should wildlife officials give milk snake recipes to Floridians … or alligators?

Brain Scientific is developing what it’s calling an “e-tattoo” that gets stitched beneath the skin of the skull and gives a clear reading of your brain’s neural signals in real time. If you ask for the e-tattoo in the shape of your girlfriend’s face, they already know what you‘re thinking.

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