Mysterious News Briefly — February 2, 2021

BluShift Aerospace in Brunswick, Maine, successfully launched its Stardust 1.0 rocket from an abandoned Air Force base – a rocket the company’s CEO claims was powered by nontoxic biofuel so safe that he could “give it to one [his] daughters’ without it having any adverse effects.” No adverse effects other than his daughter never speaking to him again because she thought it was her first real cocktail.

Claire Elise Boucher, better known as the singer Grimes and even better known as the current girlfriend of Elon Musk, says she’d relocate to Mars after she turns 50 (in 18 years) even though it would involve “manual labor until death most likely but hopefully that can change.” Is that true or is Jeff Bezos telling her this to get her to break up with Musk?

The first 3D printed home in the U.S., made using SQ4D’s Autonomous Robotic Construction System (ARCS), is now listed on MLS in New York for the incredibly low price of only $299,999. Somewhere there’s a pig with money thinking, “I wonder if it’s wolf-proof.”

The body of an 89-year-old woman in Argentina whose daughter was told she died of a heart attack was being readied for the crematorium when the daughter noticed movement and stopped the process, after which the mother was taken to the ER where she’s now alive and in intensive care. Good grief, 2021 – couldn’t you give us a brief respite from 2020?

A new study found that the mating behavior of field crickets (Gryllus bimaculatus) is significantly affected by traffic noise, making females less picky about who they choose to mate with. You already know this if you get in your car to go to work and the back seat is full of cricket couples waiting for a ride (if you know what I mean).

Two guys in the Netherlands who grew up playing on the local water tower recently bought the now-abandoned structure and turned it into their house – complete with two living quarters and plans for an indoor pool. They should expect divorce papers the first time their wives get in the shower and there’s no hot water.

In a rare instance of a church allowing its relics to be scientifically tested, remains of two of the earliest Christians and members of the 12 apostles — St. Philip and St. James the Younger – were removed from the Santi Apostoli church in Rome and taken to a lab, where radiocarbon dating found them to be the wrong age to belong to either apostle. Will the pope send the lab a bill for lost collection basket revenues?

If you’ve ignored all of the gross warnings about why it’s unsanitary to keep your toothbrush in the bathroom, here’s some good news — Northwestern University researchers found that the bacteria bathroom brushes are loaded with come from your mouth, not the water droplets sprayed after every flush. No, guys, this doesn’t mean you can finally leave the seat up.

“He’s a happy monkey,” said Elon Musk in an interview where he described the latest developments at his Neuralink Corp. where a monkey received a brain-computer interface allowing it to play video games. If it’s happy now, wait until the game system gets upgraded from Pong to Donkey Kong.

MIT astrophysicists have detected stars at the edge of the tiny galaxy Tucana II which indicate that the dwarf galaxy has a massive dark matter halo that gravitationally binds the stars to the it. This sounds like the makings of a good plot for the next Star Trek movie.

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