Mysterious News Briefly — October 26, 2020

While others worry about Asteroid 2018 VP1 disrupting the U.S. presidential election when it grazes the Earth on November 2nd, Oreo is thinking about the rest of you – it has built a concrete asteroid-proof doomsday bunker in Norway to preserve a large stash of the iconic and much loved cookies for those who survive. Is there still time to bury some milk?

Forrest Fenn is dead and his treasure has reportedly been found, but the prosecutions of lawbreaking Fenn treasure hunters continues with the indictment of a man on charges of excavating or trafficking in archeological resources and injury or depredation to United States property – namely, the Fort Yellowstone Cemetery in Yellowstone National Park where he claimed to be looking for the Fenn treasure. Needless to say, the consequences will be grave.

An Ohio State University study found that humans are born with a ‘visual word form area’ in their brains, which means brains are prewired at birth to be receptive to seeing words and letters. If this means babies can read before they can talk, you may want to avoid breastfeeding in some of your favorite message-bearing T-shirts.

Russian archeologists examining a 5000-year-old skull discovered in Crimea have determined the hole in it was the result of ancient brain surgery which probably killed the 20-year-old. Did Bronze Age patients wear bison-skin gowns open in the back?

Impossible Foods announced it’s using the same techniques that resulted in plant-based burgers that taste like real meat to make plant-based milk that tastes like real cow’s milk. If they need some brown plants to make chocolate impossible milk, I know an office that’s full of them.

From the ‘never throw anything away’ file comes word from Belgium that its government is protecting the country’s fishing waters by resurrecting a July 1666 charter by Britain’s King Charles II gives 50 Flemish fishing boats access to British waters for perpetuity. Is it really wise to threaten a country who keeps records dating back to Stonehenge?

From the ‘Is there anything we do better than insects?’ file, entomologists at the University of Illinois are studying  the physical and chemical properties of water-repellant cicada wings to develop new high-tech waterproof materials. Does this mean you have to get a new rain slicker every 17 years?

A new study found that older male chimps in the wild prefer to hang out with a small group of old friends rather than make new ones – a trait shared with older male humans. If they also like to belch and play ‘pull my finger’, this could be an evolutionary game-changer.

After five months of attacking unsuspecting residents of an Oakland neighborhood, Gerald, the hyper-aggressive turkey was finally caught by a wildlife capture expert disguised as Gerald’s favorite victim – a frail old lady. That’s good news for those who were afraid Grandma might be too scared to cook the turkey on Thanksgiving.

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